Listen
by Lizwontcry
Summary: Thirteen didn't know it, but what she needed was someone to listen. Written for Galpal Ficathon on Livejournal.


**A/N - This is my first House fic. I hope it doesn't suck.**

No one really knows how Cameron and Thirteen became friends. It just sort of happened. At first, it was probably the superficial mixture of a mutual hatred/infatuation with Dr. Gregory House, Cameron's former boss and Thirteen's current boss. It probably also helped that they looked similar and patients in the hospital were always asking if they were sisters, or sometimes even twins. This amused them both, to say the least.

They didn't have much time to socialize outside of work. Cameron and Chase tried to spend every spare second they had together, although Cameron would sometimes confide in Thirteen about how impossible it was to maintain their relationship these days. Thirteen would never mention this to Cameron, but she felt like maybe they had issues so much because Cameron still talked about House more than she talked about anyone or anything else. Sometimes Thirteen would call her friend out on it and say, "Allison Cameron, mention House again and I will suffocate you while you sleep." Cameron would always stop talking about House after being threatened, at least for a while. Thirteen found that using the threat of violence usually worked on most people.

Also, Thirteen was too busy trying to outrace her disease to see Cameron much outside of the hospital. Thirteen knew, deep in her soul and buried beneath the recesses of her brain, that her self destructive behavior was ridiculous, reckless and rebellious. The fact that it wasn't a secret anymore; the fact that Cuddy ordered her to have a drug test and House almost fired her, those things didn't even bother her--much. What did bother her was what Cameron thought about her behavior.

"You know, you and I are a lot alike," Cameron said after calling Thirteen at three in the morning to check on her, as she liked to do every now and then. Thirteen had just gotten home after a night at the bars. She went out that night to find some trouble to get into--even if she had to get up at 7 to get ready for work, even if she knew after a night of debauchery like the one she just had, she was going to feel completely miserable the next day.

Thirteen chuckled. "Oh, yeah? How is that, exactly? Do you and Chase go cruising together at seedy bars? Please, Allison, we are friends, but we're nothing alike."

"Why not? Why couldn't we be? If you haven't noticed, we are in a field that is dominated by men. We had to struggle with those men side by side through med school. We both have this idea, even if it's been crushed by House over the years, that we can make a difference in the lives of others. I don't claim to know anything about your past, but if it's anything like mine...we've been through some stuff and we came out better for it. The only difference between us is that while we both have thoughts of letting go and doing what the devil on our shoulder tells us to do, you actually act on them."

Thirteen was silent. When did her friend Cameron start being so philosophical?

"I don't say that to change what you're doing. I know that, if nothing else, it brings you some pleasure. All I'm saying is--"

"Cameron, please...I know you're trying to help me. We all know you have that savior complex. But I have a _disease._ You aren't like me. You don't live every day as a ticking clock."

Now it was Cameron's turn for silence. Thirteen felt bad, but Cameron needed to know. She needed to know that she'd never know.

"Okay, that's true, but I was married to someone who knew," she said quietly. "My husband knew when he was going to die. I knew when he was going to die. You're right, I'm not like you, I don't have a disease. But you're wrong when you think I don't know how it feels. I know."

"Sorry," Thirteen said. "You're right. I...I'm sorry. Sometimes I'm just so selfish, and I hate myself for it."

"I'm not trying to change you. I'm not trying to turn you into me. I just want you to know that you're not alone. Whatever you're going through, whatever's happening inside your head...I've been through it before. I've listened to my husband, the love of my life, talk about what happens when death is imminent. You can talk to me and I'll listen. And I promise, I won't ever bring up House if you decide to confide in me."

Thirteen laughed. She'd never really had a friend like Cameron before. And so, slowly, she let Cameron in. Over the next couple of weeks and months, she told her friend about her past. And when she was done with that, she told Cameron about her future, and how completely petrified she was of losing everything. Cameron couldn't fix that, but she could listen. After a while, Thirteen was sure that's what she'd been looking for.


End file.
